A Happier Good Life for Men

What makes for a happier good life for men?

There are 4 main basic keys to a good life for men.  If you have all 4 of these keys, you will have the possibility of a great life.

If you have some of these, but not all, you may have a good life from time to time.  But more often you will have times of struggle and frustration.

If you do not have any of the 4, your life will be one of extreme lack, extreme frustration and misery.

4 Keys to a Happier Good Life

  1. Free Time
  2. Income High Relative to Expenses
  3. Free From Excessive Rules
  4. Be Masculine

Free Time -
1st Key to a Happier Good Life

Free time is a key because it takes a lot time to have a good life. There are only 24 hours in a day. Each hour wasted, each moment wasted is your life slipping away.

It is maddening to have no free time to do what you'd like to do.

But society has always been set up to minimize our free time.  Always.

Work hours used to be far above 40 hours a week as the standard.

Low wages forcing us to work multiple jobs to try to survive are another.

Consumerism culture encouraging and coercing us to buy more and more stuff we do not need on credit force us to chase money instead of enjoying our lives.

Governments and religions tying a husband to a wife.

A wife whose excessive desires force you to buy and buy some more.

Constant call to sacrifice. 

Constant chirping about getting to work early, staying late, going the extra mile, being available 24/7.

For what?

If you have multiple jobs where you are working most of your waking life, you won't have a good life.

If you have a normal job, with some overtime, and your wife keeps you working around the house all the time.  You won't have a good life.

If you are in college and you need to study almost all the time, you won't have a good life.

If your commute to work takes many hours a week, you won't have a good life.

When You Have Free Time You Can Spend a Few Moments Enjoying Beautiful Scenery Instead of Always Being in a Rush

Most of my life has been spent in a rush, frantically trying to do more and always in a hurry trying to please others.

I have cut out all that stupid nonsense and enjoy a happier good life stopping to take photos of beautiful things when I see them.

What to Do About a Lack of Free Time

If you find yourself without free time, you need to analyze where your time goes and make plans to make drastic changes.

Drastic.

It sounds hard.  It is hard.  But if you want a happier good life, you will need to make some drastic changes.

Here are some drastic changes I made

  • Left my wife
  • Got the divorce
  • Quit a job
  • Got a better job
  • Rent an inexpensive apartment instead of buying an expensive house
  • Get up early to enjoy free time in the morning
  • Quit going to church
  • Avoid joining almost everything
  • Cut out as much of everything as possible, only doing what I want as much as possible

I love my free time more than anything else.

Income High Relative to Expenses -
2nd Key to a Happier Good Life

The second key to an easier life is making a large income without it taking over your life, draining all your energy and spending more thah you make. 

Generally for most working aged men in the U.S. you need to be making the happier income level of about $75,000 per year.  The research seems to bear this out.

I said most working aged men.  Younger men will have a hard time making this much.  So will retirees.

This is the main reason younger men are not that happy.  They just do not make enough money to live comfortably and have some fun.  The desire to have a happier good life and enjoy your free time is there whether you have the money for it or not.  If you don't have the money, you will not be happy.  Money does buy happiness.

The younger you are when you get up to this level, the longer you will enjoy a happier good life.

Once you are retired, the numbers will probably go down.  But there are other factors that come into play for older men.  When you get older you will be limited in what you can do.  If you have had a happier good life, you will be able to reflect on that as you age. 

Some of the basics of life are much less expensive as you age too

  • Medicare instead of high cost health insurance
  • Less expensive meals
  • Senior discounts
  • You have free time to get better deals
  • Senior housing is much less expensive
  • Much of your free time can be spent enjoying things that are free or inexpensive like remembering good times from your past.

But let's face it, earning money takes time.  For most people it takes 40 hours or more of work each week, every week.  Some people have passive income, but that still takes some time to set up.  It does not set itself up, you have to do it.
 
So making money takes time.
 
The key to a happier good life is  working at a job, career or business that you can easily handle and that when you are done with this work you still have time and energy to do other things.

From Bold and Determined

Working Smart for Fun and Profit

Favorite quote - “Hard work” is what people without a brain do or, usually, what lazy people say on the internet to feel big.

To have a happier good life the work you do should fit you.  You should be good at it.  It should not be so difficult that you cannot do it very well after you have worked at it awhile.

There is nothing quite so demoralizing as working to the point of exhaustion, going home and not being able to do anything except rest to go back and do it the next day.
 
The better model is to be able to do this work, enjoy it for the most part, go home and have plenty of time and energy to do other things.
 
Physically taxing jobs do not normally allow this for most people.  Most people are not cut out for extremely physical jobs.  Leave those jobs to the people who can handle them.  You have to work at something that you can handle and is either easy, engaging or delightful.  The type of work that is enjoyable and leaves you with time and energy to do other things.
 
A lot of people have jobs that they hate so much for various reasons that the job is draining them.  The hate for the job is just as draining as the work itself.

How Expenses Fit into a Happier Good Life

You always have to minimize expenses.  Always be on the look out for ways to cut costs.

But this is not the only thing.  You look to cut costs, but your main focus needs to be on income.  Most of your efforts need to be on making money, by your work.  Even passive income requires work to set up.  You need money coming in.

There is no way to a happier good life, or even live at all if you do not have some type of income stream.

It is also much easier to have a happier good life if you can avoid some of the main problems men face:

  • Excessive college debt
  • Getting college degrees in fields that do not pay well
  • Military service causing you serious lifetime injuries
  • An expensive wife
  • Too many children
  • A too expensive home

It's your life, you don't have to continue to follow the rules "they" to overburden you with large expenses that are impossible to get ahead of.

Your life is too important to not think deeply about how you want to live it.

Free From Excessive Rules -
3rd Key to a Happier Good Life

Get out of the worry about the rules mindset.  There are no rules that you cannot find a way to avoid, ignore, evade or eliminate.

What gives anyone the right to force you to follow all the rules that "they" say you should follow?  Not just the government enforced laws but rules from religions, churches, parents, friends, neighbors, society and the culture.

I want to live my life my way without so much interference from others.

Some of the rules make sense to follow to avoid the severe punishment the authorities will dish out.  But most of all the rules you have been living by are just nonsense rules meant to control you and enslave you.

I just get enraged thinking about all the stupid rules I felt like I was forced to follow to get along.  All the time doing what others wanted and getting very little of what I wanted.  And for what?

Nothing really.  A life without doing much of what I wanted.  A life where I was first a good little boy, then a good young man and then a good middle aged man.

None of that satisfied me.

The happiest and most satisfied I have ever been was getting drunk with good friends in my mid twenties.  We would get mildly drunk and have wild times.  We would meet girls and sometimes I would get laid.  It was a great time.  I regret none of that.  I only regret not doing it more.  Looking back at the happier good life I had back then, it was great because there were very few rules.

I find it frustrating that a man can only be bold, can only have fun a few times a year when he is drinking at established drinking ritual parties.

Thank goodness for these parties or some men, including me in my younger years, would never have any fun.  Their lives would be one long, boring non-eventful existence spent following all kinds of stupid rules.

I think all these rules against alcohol are not really meant to stop alcohol related deaths.  I think they are meant as a control mechanism.

When are the only times that men question authority and actually have some fun and live a little?

When they are drinking.  That is the only real time.

Men in their twenties are at the height of all their powers and could take over the world.

In order to control them you enforce massive rules against them and keep them down.

You have to get this idea of following rules out of your system.  You have to make your life your own.  You do not have to be the nice guy always following all these rules that only make your life more controlled and less fun.

You do not have to follow any of these rules

  • Go out for all kinds of activities in school
  • Stay in the activities you started even if you do not like them
  • Stay in the same job
  • Go to college
  • Buy a house
  • Get married
  • Have children
  • Stay in the same religion you were born into
  • Be religious
  • Believe in god
  • Vote
  • Believe in collective solutions

Can you see where I am going?  I am all about me and all about the individual.  I matter.  You matter.  What I want for me, matters to me.  What you want for you, matters to you.

I have no right to tell you what to do.  You have no right to tell me what to do.

Since that is the only correct way to look at it, there would be no one creating all these endless rules.

Since there is no way that will ever happen, what I do is do what I want and forget about the rules.  I just ignore most all these rules and only do what I think is best.

I left my wife even though a man is suppose to stay married.  I have never been happier.  I have never been healthier.  Isn't a man only happy and healthy being married?  No, most men live small, unhappy lives being married.

I have quit numerous jobs even though you are supposed to stay loyal to your employer.  Every time I quit a job I find myself far happier and better off at the new job.

Just try this out.  Give up all this mindless rule following.  Make your own rules.  There are no rules that you need, except your own.

Forget About Needing Permission

Yes, we all needed to ask for permission for almost everything when we were children.  But you are not a child anymore, so asking for permission is not something you need to concern yourself with.

But the sooner you can grow up and get out of not needing permission for anything, the better your life will become. 

Besides, no one is going to give you permission to have a good life. Most everyone is going to actively work to deny whatever it is that you want.

You know I am right. This same advice of boldly going after what you want without asking permission is given over and over again. Yet it is ignored but billions of people.

Billions of people go to various churches each week and sit there in a kind of shell shocked or mindless obedience.  It kind of makes me sick.

It is only the people who go ahead and do what they want without permission that have the fantastic lives that we all want. They have all the success, while you are waiting for permission.

You have to do. You have to act. You have to speak up. You have to get your hands dirty. You have to fail. You have to be rejected. You have to go ahead and do things and face the music. You have to take the repercussions.

You. You. You.

This going ahead with no permission has to be your way of life.

My point is that I did not ask for permission to write the books or create this website. I did not ask permission to quit my job and interview for a far better job. I just went ahead. I acted and moved toward what I wanted.

I did not ask permission to leave my wife, get a divorce and start my life over and be happier than I have ever been before in my life.

I just did it.

My job was not working for me anymore. So I moved to a better job. I went through all the enormous hurdles that people face when they change jobs later in life.

The pressure on married men to stay with unsuitable wives is enormous. If you ask for permission to leave, no one will give it to you. Your wife certainly won't. The church will not. Your families won't. Your friends won't. Your counselors and therapists won't. The mainstream won't.

I was moving toward treating myself with dignity and respect. I only want people in my life who treat me this way. My wife did not, so I left her.

If you ask for permission you will not get it. No one will say to go ahead and do what you want.

If you need to do anything in your life, just do it. DO not ask for permission.

The old motto of going ahead without permission and apologize later is a better way to live.  It's better to avoid apologizing too much too, but that is a subject for another day.

You will have to pick your battles with this. If you build an addition on your house without a permit, the building inspector will fine you, force you to remove the addition and if you refuse, the cops will haul you to jail or kill you.

So don't do that.

Do what you want in a smart way.

What I really mean is go ahead with things that really matter.  Building an addition on your house does not matter that much in the long run.  If you build it inexpensively and you want to do it, it's fine.  If it's for your wife's excessive stuff, it is a mistake anyway.

Big Things That Matter

  • Go after the women you want.Eliminate the bad relationships you have. Even if it is your marriage.
  • Get a better job
  • Write a books
  • Start a part-time internet business
  • Buy what you want whatever it is
  • Eat and drink what you want

Asking for permission is for children, not men. Men do. Besides the children who do what they want most of the time are the kids who actually have a good childhood. They do not worry so much about pleasing others and being a good little boy.

You can learn a lot from them.

They Were Wrong - Motivational Video

Watch this happier good life video multiple times.

Go to the 1:23 mark for my favorite quote from this fantastic video - They want to keep you down.  In every moment of life, you can defy and deny people this power.  You do so by maintaining a sense of purpose, a high destiny you are fulfilling.

Be Masculine -
4th Key to a Happier Good Life

Being more masculine will make for a happier good life for you.  One of the major components of masculinity is boldness. 

Boldness is

  • Volunteering for extra assignments, especially ones far beyond your comfort zone, at work instead of avoiding work.
  • Speaking up at a work meeting instead of quietly saying nothing.
  • Saying hello to everyone you pass by.
  • Saying what you really believe to family and friends.  Even if it is nothing like they believe.
  • Approaching girls and starting a conversation.  Boldness is doing this over and over again in spite of rejection.
  • Doing what you want with your life and making plans to make that happen and then actually going ahead with those plans.  Even if you would rather not.  Even if those plans are far from your comfort zone.
  • Freedom because freedom is not something that someone gives you.  It is something you take, something you need, something that you continually need to strive for.

The freedom that you crave is really just boldness that you crave.  You can live free in whatever manner you find yourself in as long as you are living boldly.

From Danger and Play

8 Traits of Masculine Men

Favorite quote - Women want masculine men. There just aren’t enough masculine men to go around.

You can certainly look more masculine as I have pointed out before
  • Get a tight haircut
  • Grow your facial hair
  • Wear boots
  • Wear contacts
  • Keep your shirt collar open

These simple steps will make you look, and feel better, immediately.  I would argue that the opposite of doing these will make you look less masculine and feel worse about yourself.

Maybe the most critical, and most difficult to start having the happier good life, and be massively more masculine is to weight train.

I say hard to start, because it is hard to start.

But once you start and start to reap the results, it is not that difficult to keep going.  Because weight training and the results you receive from it are almost addictive.  A good addiction, but an addiction, nonetheless.

Big, powerful looking, muscular men look quite masculine.  There is no denying it.

Everyone knows the effort it takes to get big and strong.  Everyone also knows the fear of dealing with massive men.  You are usually relieved when you meet guys like this and they are easy going and gentle.  Until you see them in the weight room, football field or doing some incredibly difficult thing that is impossible for most people in the world.

This is me preparing for a monster lift. I am really enjoying a happier good life as I am getting stronger and leaner than ever

What a Good Life Is Not
Bonus Key to a Happier Good Life for Some of Us

I write what a good life is not, because at one time I just had such a poor life that going after a good life seemed impossible.  I just wanted to escape the misery I was in.  I did not want to be miserable anymore.  I did not care so much about a happier good life.  I just wanted a life that was not filled with misery.

That is the method you might have to do if you have spent a lifetime doing mostly what you have not wanted to do. Your life has not been your own so you do not even know what to think about. You have a hard time deciding on your goals because you are so used to not thinking about your own needs and your own life. You don't even know what to dream about.

You can stop that. You can stop this in an instant.

Decide on what a happier good life is not and then do the opposite.

You do not have to keep thinking the same tired old thoughts that you do not matter. That is all wrong. The more you think that other people are more important than you are, the worse your life becomes.

If you would just spent the majority of your time thinking about what a good life means to you and then take plenty of appropriate action towards that goal, then that is what you will have.

But you may need to start thinking about what you don't want in order to clarify what you do want.

For me a happier good life is not

  • Being verbally abused by my wife. Hearing verbal abuse from anyone is one of the most harmful things for you. Verbal abuse from your wife will destroy you because you are the one who chose this relationship. The short story of verbal abuse is to leave those people behind.
  • Being criticized by my wife. Same thing as verbal abuse, just not as severe. It still is wrong.
  • Doing things that my wife forces me to do. You should be wanting to do things for the people you love. If anyone has to force you to do something, it means you really do not want to do it.
  • Lying for my wife.
  • Spending money I did not have on things I did not want to try to please my wife. You can only do the best you can do at the time. A good life is not getting in debt and in over your head for someone else.
  • Spending what little free time I had doing things I did not want to do to try to please my wife. It is your life, not your life for your wife to control.
  • Sleeping as little as possible in order to have more time to do things I did not want to do.
  • Eating as much junk food as possible in order to stay alert at work.
  • Never doing anything I want to do.
  • Feeling guilty for doing things I want to do.
  • Feeling guilty for things I had no part in. Like Christ being crucified. I was not alive then. Why should I feel guilty for what might not have even happened if I was not a part of it.
  • Staying at jobs I did not like that much and did not provide much value.
  • Feeling guilty for having fun. I still get this from my family. They do not see the fun in drinking, partying, meeting new women and having sex with strangers. These are things I loved to do as soon as I started doing them as a young man. I put this all aside when I was married. Now that I am no longer married, I find myself still loving this. But I find that it is still not a good idea to tell anyone this.
  • Feeling manipulated into not doing the things I really wanted to do.

Your life is the most important thing in the world to you. No one is more important. You matter. You matter just as much as me, just as much as your wife, just as much as your kids, just as much as leaders in government and just as much as future generations.

Summary of the Keys to a Happier Good Life

There are only these few simple keys to a happier good life for men.  If you can focus on these, and more importantly, minimize time on other things, your life can be unbelievably satisfying.

  1. Free Time
  2. Income High Relative to Expenses
  3. Free From Excessive Rules
  4. Be Masculine
  • Bonus Key - Know What a Good Life is Not

Your happier good life is available to you.  Seize it.

› › Happier Good Life

The only way I could become the happier man I am today was by leaving my wife.  You might be in the same situation I was in.  I suggest you take a look at my book - Leave Your Wife & Become a Happier Man with the 3 Step System.

Click to go to learn more about the book

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