How to Enjoy Being Alone

If you can enjoy being alone you will always have a great life and always be able to get through tough times.

This is March 2020 as I write this and the world is mostly locked down due to the coronavirus.  All the normal things we love to do, we cannot do.  All the normal coming and going, seeing friends and family, going to events (music, sports, interests, clubs, church, etc.), going out for meals, coffee, drinks, meetings, social gatherings and travel is cancelled.

There is none of the get together with other people type fun to be had.  It's not against the law...yet...but almost. 

At this time in history, we just have to grit our teeth and get through this.  The main fear is to avoid the overloading of the health care system. 

I live alone.  I started working from home.  I stay away from people most of the time for days at a time.  If I happen to get near someone every once in awhile, getting some supplies or taking a walk, I keep my distance.

So I'm doing what they want us to do. And I am not complaining about it.

That does not mean it does not suck.

I know many people are suffering, lonely, frustrated and afraid.  They have never really been alone before.

But being alone is not difficult, scary or something to avoid.  I always enjoy being alone.

From Lifehack

10 Things That Happen When You Enjoy Being Alone

Favorite quote -

Being alone gives you the perfect opportunity for a little self reflection. Since you aren’t spending so much time processing the thoughts and feelings of others, it’s the best time to turn your focus inwards.

Enjoy Being Alone
It has never bothered me to be alone

I have no problem being alone.  I prefer it.  I love it.

Even as a kid long before the internet I would spend most of my time alone either reading or drawing in my room or roaming the 40 acres of our farm or riding for miles on my bike on the rural gravel roads near our home.

I reluctantly went to school, dealing with the loudness and the terrible behavior of some of my classmates and the boringness of the teachers who had to teach to the lowest common denominator.

The lessons I knew as soon as the teacher spoke, had to be re-spoke and dumbed down and abandoned altogether as some unruly classmate clowned around or misbehaved.

I loved to sit quietly listening in at my mothers Sunday noon feasts where my grandparents were invited and listen to the adults talk absorbing their words, hearing their stories.  It was such a contrast from the infantile talk I would be hearing the next day in school.

I found TV to be quite boring and terrible too, preferring any show that had a hint of intelligence like the early MASH or Columbo.

I enjoy being alone in my big, comfortable recliner

I, like most, watched too much TV.  I did it, but did not enjoy it.

I wish the internet would have been invented in my childhood.  I would have loved it as I love it now.  The rabbit holes I would have followed.  I might never have slept.

I loved to go to the Mall as a kid.  Not to hang around in the hallways or to shop for stuff.

For the bookstore.

I would make a beeline for the bookstore as soon as we arrived.  My mother would allow me to be alone there with all the glorious books while she and my sister and brother shopped.

I read countless books there, rarely if ever buying one, we were not rich enough to spend money on books.

My mother was not a big shopper, within an hour or two she would be back and it would be time to go.  I hated to go, but never complained to her.  How could I, going to the mall was a big deal, but other things had to be done.

But I could have spent all day there.

I did patronize the local public library.  But not as much as I should have. I only checked out one book at a time.  I thought there was a limit.

This is far different than the dozens I used to check out after college and after my divorce when I had lots of time but little money.

And far different from now where I have a packed bookshelf, a loaded Kindle, countless PDF books on my computer and easy access to thousands of internet articles.

Even When I was Married

Even in the early years of my marriage, when things were still good, I enjoyed being alone.  I'd get up early on Saturdays to read and plan before my wife got up.  I'd try to take time for myself whenever I could.

Certainly as my marriage deteriorated I much preferred being alone than to spend any time with my wife.

Some Things are Always Better By Yourself
Enjoy Being Alone

  • Walking is much better alone.  Walking with people usually sucks because they are either walking so fast you get exhausted, walking painfully slow so you don't get anywhere or talking so much you can't hear the sounds of the nature around you.
  • Watching TV and movies.  You don't have to explain things to the slower people.
  • Reading.  How can you read around others with their constant chatter?
  • Working.  It is incredibly productive to work by yourself unless the nature of the work requires more than one.
  • Shopping.  I hated shopping with my wife and the agonizing hours of looking and comparing.  I love to just zip into a store, get what I need and hustle out.
  • Housework.  Just do it by yourself as thorough as you want and be done with it.
  • Running errands.  Errands are a breeze when you do them only.
  • Following Social Media.  It is so easy to spend hours by yourself absorbing information.

My Favorite Sources for Honest Information

Scott Adams

Mike Cernovich

I have always despised the Mainstream Media and even local media.  I have not watched either one since 2007 (the year I left my wife).  If it happens to be on when I am at a friends or family members house they usually get irritated with me because I just mock the vapid newscasters and their stupid opinions disguised as news.

Things I Miss When I'm Alone

  • Going out on the town with friends.
  • Going out on the town by myself.
  • Seeing family and friends
  • Going to big events
  • Going to coffee shops.
  • Going out for meals.

So I'm not totally anti-social.  I love getting together with my favorite people and love meeting and spending time to get to know new people.

I love meetings at work.  The joking around right at the beginning and the collective decision making and information sharing throughout.

But at this time, we can't do that.  We just have to grit our teeth, deal with the situation at hand and find ways to enjoy being alone.

Some Thoughts on How to Get Through Tough Times

  • Slow down
  • Watch old TV
  • Get some sunlight
  • Take short walks in the fresh air
  • Run short errands that you can easily do and be mindful of social distancing and cleaning up afterwards
  • Get used to just sitting around not doing much
  • Get used to being bored
  • Enjoy the down time

Enjoy Being Alone Even If You Live With Someone

While being single and living alone is the easiest way to have a nice easy life, you may be married or living with a wonderful woman.  Even if you are married you want to organize your life so you have plenty of alone time.

Self-aware men who care about their lives do this in a number of ways

  • They have a den, with a door and set up for their enjoyment with no input from their lady
  • They have a nice, big garage or shed, set up for their hobbies with no interference from their lady.
  • They have a nice, cool yard to work on and enjoy
  • They may have a hunting cabin
  • They go on guys only outings
  • Travel alone
  • Hunt
  • Fish
  • Bowling
  • Watching sports

Enjoy Being Alone in the Morning

  • Drinking fresh coffee you make yourself is very easy to do alone
  • Sitting in a comfortable chair with your feet up is naturally distancing yourself from others
  • Just enjoying some internet content on your computer or phone can easily be done alone

Enjoy Being Alone Wrap-Up

Being alone can be quite nice.  It starts with loving yourself and then being able to just enjoy sitting around not doing much but thinking about past happiness events and successes and planning future happiness events.

› › Enjoy Being Alone

The only way I could become the happier man I am today was by leaving my wife.  You might be in the same situation I was in.  I suggest you take a look at my book - Leave Your Wife & Become a Happier Man with the 3 Step System.

Click to go to learn more about the book

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